It is spring! Beautiful, glorious spring. This time of the year when the trees are bursting into bloom, the birds are singing, the tender new leaves are just about to unfurl and the humidity and mosquitoes have not arrived, it is pure magic. Even more so when you feel like you are also experiencing your own rebirth. I remember this time last year, when I had so much hope that a few sunny spring days would erase the miseries of a dark and gloomy winter when our economy, and my profession, slid into crisis. But alas, all I got was a string of cold rainy days and a ride through my company's worst round of layoffs ever. But this year, so much has changed. Thank God I am no longer trudging up that gloomy stairwell to the office, wondering when things were ever going to get better. Thank God I am sitting on the porch on a sunshiny day, setting out on a whole new path.
I am still getting in the groove of my new job, figuring out how much time I need to give it, how to do it and how to balance it with the many other things I need and want to do. I'll get there, I'm sure. I am doing it from my living room, so I have a lot of control here. Maybe that's what is making me feel so euphoric--despite the fact that I am jumping into an unfamiliar job, making a good deal less money than before and still facing a pretty uncertain future. (This job is initially only for six months, and I have yet to find any writing work to supplement it.) But despite all that, I feel like I have control over my life again. Nobody can call me into an office and tell me that I have to start working the night shift. I don't owe any time to an office. I don't have to explain my whereabouts to anyone. I just have to engineer a life in which I can complete all the necessary tasks.
I would have a lot more time if I used my afternoons with Mia to do stuff like grocery shopping or cleaning, but I don't want to. We are having way too much fun reading books, going to the park, making art, baking, eating ice cream, playing with friends, going to museums, going swimming. This is time I'm never going to get back, and that is way more important than the dust bunnies on my stairs.
This weekend, we spent the weekend at our boat. And if there is anything that will remind you what is really important in life, it's a gorgeous sunny spring weekend at the coast. We went sailing and took bike rides. We strolled around looking at boats and hung out at the tiki bar at sunset. We drank coffee and ate ice cream. Mia and I spent hours hanging around at the water's edge, collecting snails. That is the kind of childhood I want her to have, mucking around in the river in her bare feet, collecting snails and examining pine cones. We are always thinking that the life we want or deserve is somewhere in the future. But weekends like that remind me that everything we need or want is here right now, waiting for us to discover it.