I haven't been here in a while, have I? I think that's partly because I started wondering, WTF am I doing posting all this super-personal stuff on the internet? Most people have the good sense to keep most of this shit to themselves. But when I think about it, I'm really not saying anything here that I wouldn't tell someone over lunch, if they were interested in listening to all my personal ruminations — which most of them aren't. I've always been the kind of person who keeps very few secrets and has very little shame, as anyone who knows me can attest. I don't understand why so many people find the need to keep so much hidden. I'm not afraid of letting people know that I have faults and problems. Of course, there are people (mostly bosses and other professional contacts) who I would not want to see this blog. But that is why I keep it anonymous. So I guess I'm going to go on, for now, mostly because I think this space has helped me to work through some pretty important stuff in my life. This post, especially, represented a big turning point for me. There is something about writing for an audience that makes it much more powerful for me than writing a private journal, which I've never been able to do. Maybe I will eventually have a big enough audience that I can move to a password-protected Wordpress site. Someday.
For now, I'll just set a few ground rules that I think I've already been obeying for the most part:
- No talking junk about people who might recognize themselves, even if I have no evidence to suggest that they read this blog or know it exists.
- No talking about work.
- No expressing opinions about politics or other issues even tangentially related to my work.
Some of these are so hard. I so want to tell you what I think about our new president, and I want to write about some of the amazing experiences I've had (visiting a slaughterhouse, attending the wedding of two refugees) but they would stray too much into the category of "Shit that could get me fired." And in this economy, I'd really prefer to stay employed. So please don't think I am shallow and self-absorbed because I am ignoring world events in favor of my own personal drama. I just can't go there.
OK, I feel refreshed. Back with more soon from inside the mind of Spoiled Only Child — like my new obsession with becoming partially vegan.