Hardly anyone comments on my blog, so I'm going to take this opportunity to trash about 1/3 of the world's commenters, since I know that none of you will be implicated. I just need to vent. I read lots of blogs, and when I am really wasting time, I also read their comments. And there are a few ubiquitous comments that I wish I never had to see again. I'm sure there are more, but this is all I can think of at the moment.
- "FIRST!!!" Anybody who uses their comment to talk about the fact that they are the first commenter, oh my god, get a life.
- "OMG! You're so funny I just blew coffee out of my nose!" Why must so many people say that the post caused them to spit or blow liquids from their nose? How many times have you laughed so hard that you actually spit food or drink all over yourself? Maybe once or twice in your life? Maybe you are a particularly gregarious person, so let's say a dozen. But I don't see how it's possible that every mildly funny blog post causes 20 percent of commenters to cough/snort up their beverage. So not only are these comments unoriginal, I think the people who write them are lying.
- "My thoughts exactly, but you say it so much more eloquently than me." If you can't think of anything to add to the discussion except, "Ditto! You're so much smarter than me!" maybe you should just remain on the sidelines quietly nodding.
Please do your part to eradicate such comments from the face of the earth.