Remember the other day, when I said what a pleasure and a privilege it was to watch you grow and learn? How you were learning to say all kinds of cute things blah blah how much I love you blah blah blah blah? Yeah, well, I take it back. You are a total fucking pain in my ass. Let me count the ways: your shrill cry, your boneless posture as you throw yourself to th ground, the way you demand one unreasonable thing after another, the meltdowns over the proper placement of your baby doll, your refusal to evereverever go where I ask you to, that little gleam you get in your eye when you see that you have finally really gotten me really angry. And the fact that I've gotten up four times since I started this post to deal with your screaming demands from your crib is really not helping.
I had the day off work and your grandmother was in town, so I decided to keep you home from school. I had visions of a lovely girls day, of us lunching and strolling and shopping. But I guess you had other plans. I guess you would rather fall to the ground screaming every time we try to put your jacket on, steadfastly stand in the street no matter how many times I tell you to step onto the sidewalk, turn into a limp rag every time I try to get you to hold my hand. And of course, after a morning of non-stop misery, refuse to nap. No, of course it's much more fun to throw out all your animals and blankets and then immediately begin screaming for them. And then when I try to leave you to cry, because I feel like I am about to hit you I'm so fed up, threaten to climb out of your crib.
Writing this doesn't seem to be helping me calm down, so I guess I'll stop now. But please have your own child one day, so you will know what I have put up with.